I have always been interested in personality types and learning about myself in order to be the best ME I can be. When I was going through my difficult marriage and divorce, knowing myself and how I communicate and think was incredibly helpful in managing my emotions and challenges in that relationship. ​Now that I’m dating again though, I’ve realized I have some pretty bad habits I need to break. Thus I’ve been researching relationship attachment styles!

Awareness

I heard The Love Addict Coach, on Tiktok and Instagram discuss the subject of love bombing and my ears perked up because she was describing me 🤯.

Although I would never have identified as a “love bomber” before, I saw my intense need for someones approval before I’d even thought “do I even like this person?” The first step to learning your relationship attachment style is to be aware of your own behaviors

@theloveaddictcoach

Leave a comment if you’ve experienced this!! ##greenscreen ##anxiousattachment ##toxicrelationship ##dating

♬ original sound – The Love Addict Coach

When does it start?

Then it’s important to realize where those behaviors come from.

Your attachment style is formed during early childhood as a result of the interactions, experiences and perceptions that you encounter. It’s what affects how you form adulthood attachments and determines the ways in which you behave in your relationships,  according to psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby. 

What Are They?

​There are four different attachment styles. Each Style has their own beliefs, perceptions, & ways that they process emotions!

1. Avoidant, 
2. Fearful Avoidant (disorganized), 
3. Anxious, 
4. Secure. 

My personal attachment Style is Anxious. (Go figure, I’m on anxiety meds HA). The roots of this attachment style are based in perceived neglect: My parents were 100% there for me as a kid and made sure all of my physical and scholastic and spiritual needs were met, but I didn’t feel like I could ever really talk to them or tell them how I felt. We were raised to say yes ma’m, no sir, and no back talk or explanations were ever acceptable. Raising 6 kids couldn’t have been easy, and while I was well taken care of, I think their generation just viewed the child parent relationship a bit differently. 

Results

The attachment style project gave me a long results PDF and this was what they said is how the anxious attachment style handles relationships. INCREDIBLY and scarily accurate for me! I do all of the below 🙄and I’m excited to begin working on moving to a secure state. 

Take the Quiz

I suggest you take this quiz and learn which style you are, over at The Attachment Project. 

What’s your Attachment Style?

I am not affiliated with any of these companies or entities and am not paid to promote them*